Livin' in the Shadow
by Charmed01
Summary: Rating just to be safe! Lily ran away from home almost five years ago, now James wants her back. Pretty much..James finds Lily then lottsa stuff happens..I totally suck at summaries but please read! I promise it won't suck THAT bad! hehe RR!
1. Chapter One

A/N: Hi pplz....whats up?! lol! Well I thought I would write this before somebody else took the idea away from me..and they prolly already have but that's ok too! hehe! Well I'm gonna get this done before that happens! I hope you like it! And please review!! )

Disclaimer: I own no Harry Potter characters and the song 'Shadow' belongs to Ashley Simpson.

Lily Potter hurried out the door and ran down the street. When she was sure that she was out of sight of the house she turned and looked back at the only home she ever had. There was a park across the street where she use to play on the swings everyday. There was an ice cream parlor down the road where she would get a Chocolate Sundae every Friday after school. Well..that was before she recieved the letter. The letter that had causes all this. She was ecstatic when she opened the envelope and read what it contained..but her so well-known and loved sister didn't approve at all. Thats what had gotten her into this mess..her sister, Petunia Evans.

_I was six years old_

_When my parents ran away_

_I was stuck inside a broken life_

_I couldn't wish away_

_She was beautiful_

_She had everything and more _

_And my escape was hiding out and running for the door _

When Lily was younger she remembered always wishing she could be just like Petunia. She always looked up to her for advice for almost everything. They use be so close, almost like they were best friends rather than sisters. She remembered one time when she was four and she had fallen off her bike and Petunia had helped her back up and told her to dry her tears and try again. But then Petunia started hanging out with her own friends and made no time for Lily anymore. She became popular and started hanging with the 'in' crowd. Soon Lily became jealous of Petunia, almost to the point where it was just about impossible to be in the same room as her.

_Somebody listen please_

_It used to be so hard being me_

_Living in the shadow_

_Of someone else's dream_

_Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me _

_Living in a nightmare _

_A never-ending sleep _

_But now that I am wide awake _

_My chains are finally free _

_Don't feel sorry for me _

Lily continued into the night, her dufflebag slung over her shoulder. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she had to get there fast. Maybe she would run away to the city and get some fabulous job as a famous actress or singer, or something. Her and James had once planned to run away to New York when they were old enough to be on their own, get married, have high paying job, and like twenty kids. Lily laughed at this thought. James. Suddenly her laughter died. Running away would mean that she would be leaving James as well. They had finally gotten together in their 7th year at Hogwarts. Another row between Petunia and Lily that had landed Lily in this very spot where she was now. Not even a week ago had it been when she returned home from Hogwarts had Petunia found out about Lily and James and immediately became jealous. Even thought Petunia was as 'high classed' as she was, she was never one to have a decent boyfriend of any kind. But Lily didn't want to think about that now. She just wanted out of here. She held out her wand and within a few seconds a large purple, three-decker bus came rolling around the corner.

_All the days collided_

_One less perfect than the next_

_I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best _

_Oh, I love you now _

_'cause now I realize _

_That it's safe outside _

_to come alive in my identity _

Lily purchased her ticket to the Leaky Cauldron and boarded the bus. She chose a bed at the back of the bus and got comfortable..well as comfortable as you could on the Knight Bus. She layed back and planned out the rest of her life. Yes, she would runaway to some huge city, get a new name and everything. She would be a famous fasion designer for her own company. She would get married to some handsome, rich man and have a wonderful life together. She would forget about Howarts, her parents, Petunia, the Mauraders....and James. Yes, she would have to forget about James as well. Tears came springing into her eyes as she thought about a life without James, but she knew she had to. She had to get out of here and live her own life. She needed to quit depending on other people, and start depending on herself.

_So if you're listening _

_There's so much more to me_

_you haven't seen _

_Living in the shadow _

_Of someone else's dream_

_Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me _

_Living in a nightmare _

_A never-ending sleep_

_But now that I am wide awake _

_Then I can finally be_

_Don't feel sorry for me _

Lily pulled out some parchment and a quill and began scribbling a message to her parents.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I couldn't stand it any longer. I know you always told me that running away was no way to solve my problems, that I should hold my head high and do the right thing. Well, I think I am doing the right thing. I'm going to start my new life far away where I can be happy. You always told me that I could do whatever I wanted, as long as it made me happy, and that's exactly what I plan to do. Don't be sad about me leaving, be rejoicing that your youngerst daughter is finally starting her own life. I know I'm only seventeen..but in three months I'll be eighteen and I know that I'm ready now to start my own life. I love you guys and I will miss you so much. Tell Petunia that dispite our differences, I love her too.

Much Love,

Lily

Lily sealed the parchment and let her solid black owl, Artemis from his cage.

"Take this to mum and dad. Then your free to do as you wish. Make sure you find some way to tell them that I really do love them. Make sure James knows that I love him too.." Lily stroked the owls feathers once more before she opened the window and watched as Artemis flew into the night.

_Mother, sister, father, sister, mother_

_Everything's cool now _

_Mother, sister, father, sister, mother _

_Everything's cool now _

_Oh, my life is good _

_I've got more than anyone should _

_Oh, my life is good _

_And the past in the past _

Lily continued to stare out the window. She knew that deep down in her heart, this was not the right thing to do, but she also knew that one day she would be grateful that she did this. She took a picture from her bag out of one of the pockets and began watching as the picture moved and told a story of its own. It was of her and the Maurauders..James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Her and James were in a tight hug laughing, Sirius was ruffling Remus's hair as Remus desperately tried to get away. Peter was standing off in the corner, watching them all as if they were lunatics, but smiling every once in a while. Lily laughed outloud as the picture Sirius finally managed to tackle Remus to the ground and watched as the others in the picture laughed along with her. She placed the picture back in its original spot and tried to get comfortable once more. She shut her eyes and dreamed of her life ahead of her. She dreamed of the life that she had always wanted, and the life she was going to have. But, somehow Lily knew that somewhere deep inside her, this wouldn't be the last time she saw the smiling faces of the ones she loved.

_I was living in the shadow _

_Of someone else's dream _

_Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me_

_I'm living in a new day_

_I'm living it for me _

_And now that I am wide awake_

_Then I can finally be _

_Don't feel sorry for me _

_Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me _

_Living in, living in, living in the shadow_

_Living in, living in, living in a new day _

A/N: So..what do you guys think of it? Don't worry, I plan for this story to have more chapters, even tho it may seem like a one-shot..well..its not! lol! Please reveiw! It would make me oh soooooo happy! The more reviews..the fast I update! lol! Luv ya!


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Hey! I'm so happy that someone reviewed to my story! So what..only two ppl! But since they did I get to answer them! ) The song 'My Boo' Belongs to Alicia Keys and Usher. I won't do a song fic for every chapter but I keep finding good moments for them! hehe! Also, after every verse it will switch POV,the first POV will be James.

Bamer: Haha, don't worry..here's the next chapter! And I won't forget about the other ppl who want to know the story! Thanx for reviewing!

Ashley: Thanx! I'm glad you like the story! It's great fun writing it! lol! Thanx for reviewing!

Chapter Two

**Five Years Later...**

Lizzie Turner gathered her scetches and placed them in her folder. She gathered the rest of her stuff and headed out the door down the crowded streets of New York City. She went by the coffee shop and ordered her a French Vanilla Cafe and made her way to work. She entered the busy office, people buzzing around her. Tom handed her her mail, Teresa had her sign a few papers until Lizzie finally made her way into her own private office and shut the door behind her.

She had just sat down when Kelsey, her secretary, opened the door. "Ms. Turner, you had a phone call earlier this morning, it was a young man by the name of James-"

Lizzie nearly spilled all her coffee all over her desk. "James..James who?" She was almost scared to know.

"He didn't give a last name, he just asked if you could call him back as soon as you got in, heres his number." Kelsey handed Lizzie a sheet of paper and left the office quietly. Lizzie stared at the paper for a long time, thinking of how this all came to be. Thinking about how she knew that one day this would happen.

Lizzie Turner wasn't her real name. This was Lily Evans, the girl who ran away a little more than five years ago. Her parents desperately tried to find her, but had no luck. Everyday she saw her pictures all over the news, and her parents being interveiwed, she always thought of calling or just going back home..but she couldn't bring herself to do it. So she just stayed in New York and placed a concealment charm on herself so no one would know who she was, unless saw by one that already knew her, and she was pretty sure no one in New York knew Lily Evans. She was now the famous Fasion Designer that she had planned to be. She had a lovely fiancee by the name of Bryant.

She pictured James face in her head from many years before. She wandered if he still looked the same, if he was still the same goofy James that he had always been. She greatly hoped that she hadn't caused him any pain in her leaving, but deep down she knew she had. She took another looked at the number and with trembling hands picked up the phone. She knew this was something she had to do.

She dialed the first three numbers and paused. She dialed the next two and paused again. Another number, she was almost there. She dialed the last number and brought the phone up to her ear. The phone rang three times and she thought, 'Oh well, guess he's not going to answer', but much to her dismay he did.

"Hello?" She heard the voice of James Potter on the other end. She was about to reply but found she couldn't speak. "Hello?" He repeated.

Lily found that she wouldn't be able to answer him and hung up quickly. She stared at the phone again debating on whether she should call back when it started ringing. 'Oh god, he knows it was me!'

She cautiously reached for the phone and answered it. "H-hello?"

No one answered. "Hello?"

"Lily?"

(Haha! You thought I was gonna end there huh? I'm not that mean! hehe)

Lily's voice was caught in her throat once more. "Lily?" James repeated. "Lily answer me, I know its you."

"J-James..?" Lily asked, finally finding her voice.

"Lily! Wow, its really you!" James voice sounded as if he was a teenager once again. "How have you been Lils? I haven't heard from you in so long.."

"I-I've been pretty good." Lily answered, finally having the courage to have an actual conversation with him. "I'm designing my own clothes line now."

"Wow, that's awesome Lils." Lily smiled softly at the old nickname. "I'm working as an Auror for the ministry."

Lily gave a small laugh. She remembered James telling her thats what he always wanted to do. "That's great, James."

"Ya..." was the only thing she heard from him. "S-so..Lily..why did you leave?"

Lily shut her eyes to this question, knowing that he would ask it soon. "I couldn't stay there anymore." she answered simply.

"Why not? Was it my fault?" James asked sadly.

Lily felt tears stinging her eyes. How could he think it was his fault?! He was wonderful in every way imaginable. She couldn't believe that he would actually think that he was the cause of her leaving.

"No James, none of my leaving was your fault."

"Then why did you leave then Lily? You had the perfect life right where you were!" She could tell James was getting angry.

"I had to leave James! Thats why I didn't tell you! I knew you wouldn't understand!"

That was the longest silence Lily thought she had ever sat through, even though it only lasted a few seconds. "What makes you think I wouldn't of understood Lily?" James asked, his voice growing cold. "What I don't understand is why you left me there Lily! I looked for you for over three years! Everyone thought you were dead! We all thought someone had forced you to write that letter! We all thought that you were buried in some ditch somewhere! We loved you Lily! We were devastated without you! Why didn't you tell someone what you were feeling instead of running away from your problems? Why didn' you go to your parents?! Why didn't you come to me?!"

Lily's temper was now rising too. "Because you would of just told me taht exact thing! You would of told me how stupid it was to run away! Well I had to run away James! There was no way of fixing what was going on! You were the only thing right in my life! You were perfect and I didn't want you to have be stuck with someone like me!" Lily knew she shouldn't of spoken those last words, but she also knew they were true.

"Well you were wrong Lily. I needed you, but I guess that just doesn't matter to you anymore does it?"

"James-"

"No. I don't need to hear it Lily. Have a nice day, Ms. Turner." and with that James hung up the phone. Lily hung up too and folded her arms over her desk, resting her head on them and began to cry. She cried for what seemed like hours until she finally realized that she wouldn't be able to work today. She quickly grabbed her stuff and walked out the door once more on the streets of New York.

James hurried through the busting crowd of New York City, just hanging up with Lily on his cell phone. He thought about her constantly, even now memories were flooding through his mind...

_Do you remember girl  
I was the one who gave you your first kiss  
Cause I remember girl  
I was the one who said put your lips like this  
Even before all the fame and  
People screaming your name  
Girl I was there when you were my baby_

He remembered the first kiss they shared, their first date, he remembered everything. Everyday he wondered if Lily felt the same...

_It started when we were young girl  
You were mine my boo  
Now another brother's taking over  
But its still in your eyes my boo  
Even though we used to argue it's alright  
I know we haven't seen each other  
In awhile but you will always be my boo_

It had been so long since Lily had even spoken to James, and they had to end the converstation in fighting. She wasn't sure if she liked that to much. She always dreamed of seeing James again and it being like old times. But no, now she had Bryant, and she was to be marrying him in a few weeks....

_I was in love with you when we were younger  
You were mine my boo  
And I see it from time to time  
I still feel like my boo  
And I can see it no matter  
How I try to hide my boo  
Even though there's another man in my life  
You will always be my boo_

Her thoughts kept straying back to James when she ran into someone. "Oh, sorry.." She looked up and saw the face of James Potter staring back at her.

A/N: Haha, ok thats kinda a cliffy but hey! Lol! I hope you guys liked it! Please review! The more reviews I get, the fast I'll update because that shows me that you guys like the story! Thanx! RR! Luv ya! xoxox


	3. Chapter Three

A/N: Omg, I am so happy about my reviews! yay!! lol! Ok um..I think I lied..I think every chapter is gonna be a song fic..cuz that's just fun! lol! I'm not sure about the lyrics cuz I wrote this listening to the song cuz I wasn't online when I wrote this chapter. Please tell me if the lyrics are wrong or not and gimme the real ones so I can fix it please! Thanx!

Dislcaimer: I own nothing...the song um...I think Nick Carter sings this..I dunno..I was listening to it and I guessed..well here it is anywayz! I think its called "What Makes You Different." Yeah and..obviously I don't own that either D

DragonTamer214: Haha, ok Becky I'll explain more in this chapter lol! Luv u too!! xoxoxo Thanx for RR!

Jessica: I'm happy you like it! I feel so loved! lol Yeah..sorry about the cliffie! But here in a minute you'll see what happens so no worries! Thanx for RR!

Ashley: Thanx for RR again! Haha, I'm glad you like the song! I'm still thinking of what song to use for this chapter though..ugh..lol! Hope you like it too! lol!

Chapter Three

All Lily could do was stare at James and it seemed thats all he could do back. "S-sorry..." She repeated, going past him to leave once more.

"Lily wait.." James said grabbing her arm so she wouldn't leave. "Can't we just go somewhere and talk?"

"Go somewhere and talk James? Did we not just 'talk' on the phone?" Her temper was rising once more.

James sighed. "Listen Lily, I'm sorry..I didn't mean to lose my temper like that..."

Lily looked up at him,debating on whether to trust him or not. "Fine."

James let out the breath he was holding. "Good..now can we go somewhere and talk? Please...?"

Lily agreed and they made their way down the busy sidewalk to a Ice cream parlor on the corner of the walkway. They entered the shop and Lily found a seat in the back while James went and ordered them both some shakes. He came back and her her shake and sat across from her.

"So..." James started.

"So..." Lily answered back. This definetly wasn't going anywhere.

They both sat there and stired their shakes around with their straws, both thinking about what to say to the other. "So um..." Lily tried again.

"You've said that." James said. Lily looked up at him and he smiled softly at her. Lily gave a small laugh and so did James. "So Lily, um..erm...."

James was beginning to think this was harder than it looked. He looked into Lily's eyes and saw the same girl he knew five years ago..he just had to make sure she was still there..somehow. He knew she loved to go dancing..maybe he could ask her to go dancing and it could be like old times again. Just at the moment Lily's cellphone rang.

"Hello?" She answered. "Oh, Hey Bry...yeah....no I'm at the ice cream parlor with James...a friend from a while back...yeah..um...in about an hour or two? Ok, yeah sure. Ok..love you too, bye." She hung up the phone and placed it back in her bag. She looked up and saw James looking back at her like he had just been hit with a pound of bricks or something. "James...?"

"Um...I-I gotta go..it was nice seeing you again Lily. Bye." He quickly got up and exited the parlor.

"James!" Lily began running after him. She stood on the sidewalk but it was too late, he was already gone.

_You don't run with the crowd_

_You go your own way_

_You don't play after dark_

_You light up my day_

_You got your own kinda style_

_That sets you apart_

_Baby thats why you capture my heart_

Lily walked back into the parlor and heard this song playing. It brought tears to her eyes..it was their song.

_I know sometimes you feel_

_Like you don't fit in_

_And this world doesn't know_

_What you have within'_

_When I look at you_

_I see something rare_

_A rose that can grow anywhere_

_And there's no one I know that can compare_

James sat in his car, both hands on the stereo, the song playing on his CD player. He stared at the picture of him and Lily from a few years ago. They looked so happy and looked as though they were having the best time of their life...

_What makes you different_

_Makes you beautiful_

_What's there inside you_

_Shinin' through to me_

_In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need_

_What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me_

James realized that he wasn't going to sit here and lose her again. Even if she had someone else, it wasn't worth losing her again. He quickly backed out of the parking lot and started driving back to the ice cream shop, praying she hadn't left yet.

_You got something so real_

_You touched me so dear_

_Whats there in the past _

_Don't matter to me_

_So come as you are_

_You got nothing to prove_

_You won me with all that you do_

_And I wanna take this chance to say to you_

Once he was in front of the parlor he hurried in to find the janitor already there, stacking chair onto the tables. James sighed and turned back around to go back to his car. Then he saw her waiting for him by the door. "Took you long enough." She said quietly. He hurried over to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

_What makes you different_

_Makes you beautiful_

_What's there inside you_

_Shinin' through to me_

_In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need_

_What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me_

_What makes you different, makes you beautiful_

"Lily, I am so sorry."

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry James, I never should of left. It's all my fault.."

"Lily Evans I better never hear those words come out of your mouth again." James said, a hint of his old schoolboy voice hidden. Lily noticed this and just looked up at him and smiled.

_You don't know_

_How you touched my life_

_In so many ways I can't describe_

_You told me what love is suppose to be_

_It's all those little things that make you beautiful to me_

He smiled his lopsided smile back. "C'mon, I'll take you home." Lily nodded and they both got into the car. James started the car and began driving her home. "Where do you live?"

"Right up here." Lily pointed out a huge penthouse at the far end of the road. James nodded and made for that way.

_What makes you different_

_Makes you beautiful_

_What's there inside you_

_Shinin' through to me_

_In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need_

_What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me_

He parked in her driveway and let her out of the car. He gave her a quick friendly kiss on the cheek goodbye and watched her as she walked to her door. She turned and waved at him then entered the house. He waved back and left. What he didn't see was the man in the window on the highest story looking down upon them, watching them both.

A/N: Didn't mean to leave off here..but I couldn't think of anything! lol! Um..next chapter you'll find out about who the guy was and stuff and Lily and James might just get a lil closer...hehe you never know! lol! Well I have to go now..cuz..um..I just do! Hope you liked the chapter! RR!!!!!!! Luv ya! xoxoxo


	4. Chapter Four

A/N: Ok peeps..time for chapter four! Haha, sorry it took me a few days to update..I've been pretty busy lately..heh sorry!

Dislcaimer: yeah..I own nothing..um...duh! lol The song Broken belongs to Seether and Amy Lee...

Britney: Haha! I'm glad you like the story! You'll find out who the guy in the window is here in a bit. lol! Thanx for RR!

Shane14: Glad you like it. I hope you like chapter four as well! Thanx for RR!

Jessica: I'm soo happy you like it. I'm glad you also like how I put songs in my stories..I have no idea what to use for this one...oh no! lol! Thanx for RR!

Ashley: I think you have officially become one of my favorite reviewers. lol! I'm glad that you like it and thanx for RR! I love seeing your reviews! Thanx! D -Haha, you get the smiley lol!

Chapter Four

Lily entered the front room and layed her belongings on the table next to the door. Bryant came down from upstairs and greeted her as she made her way up.

(A/N: Haha, ok Britney, there's ur guy! lol!)

"Hey baby." Bryant said as he kissed Lily lightly on the lips. "Did you have a good day at work?"

"Yeah, it was ok. You?"

"Same. Who was that guy who drove you home?" He asked.

"Oh..that was James..remember me telling you about him? Yeah..well he came by the office today and we went out to catch up and talked a bit."

"Oh ok. Well I'll have to meet this guy sometime Lils." He gave her a menacing look.

'Oh no..' Lily thought. 'Lils..how does he know about that?' Lily looked up at him.

"Ok..that would be great." She answered, her voice a little shaky. Bryant did not miss the amount of shakiness in her tone, much to her dismay.

"Why do you sound so nervous Lily? Something you hiding from me?" His voice became louder and angrier.

"What are you talking about Bry?" Lily asked confused.

"You know very well what I'm talking about Lily." He grabbed her wrist and pushed her against the wall holding her there. "Your going around screwing with that James character and I don't take to lightly to my fiancee prancing around the whole city like a slutty hooker!" He slapped her across the face and let go of her wrist.

She placed her wrist over her cheek hardly believing what had just happend to her. "Bryant, what-?"

He slapped her again. "Shut up you filthy whore! Just shut up! I don't what your lame excuses about why you were out with him today Lily. Now..I'm going into town..and I expect you to still be here when I return." He kissed her roughly and left.

Lily waited until she was sure he had left and quickly began stuffing all the belongings she could into a large yellow duffle bag. When she finished, she quickly grabbed her car keys and jacket and raced for the car. She hopped in, started the engine, and drove off. She had no idea where she was going until it hit her. James.

She took a sharp turn and made her way to the hotel she believed James to be staying in.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

She pulled into the parking lot and made her way into the building. When she went to open the door she saw her reflection in the window. There was a bruise forming on her left cheek where Bryant had hit her. She held back the tears forming behind her sunglasses and made her way to the front desk.

"Excuse me," She said to the lady at the front desk. "Could you tell me which room James Potter is staying in please?"

"Certainly dear. Room 105" The woman answered.

"Thank you." Lily answered. She smiled sweetly to the lady and made her way to room 105.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away _

Lily knocked on the door. She heard someone bustling about and finally the door opened. James Potter stood at the door, a confused expression shown upon his features.

"Lily?"

Lily flung herself at James, wrapping her arms around his neck. James was a bit startled but held her none the less. Lily began sobbing uncontrolably on his shoulder. She told him everything that had happed back at the house. He stroked her hair comfortingly.

"Shh..its ok Lily. I'm not going to let him hurt you again. I promise."

Lily nodded her head against his chest. She believed him. He took her in, shutting the door and she sat on his bed. He took a seat on the chair across from her.

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain _

For a moment no one spoke, they just sat and enjoyed each others company.

"Has he done this before?" James asked tentavely. Lily shook her head.

"No, he's never hurt me before. I mean..I knew that he was protective, what guy isn't, but I never ever thought he would go to the extent as to physically hurt me." Lily had already taken off the sunglasses where the bruise was showing more clear than ever. James reached over and touched the side of her face lightly.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away _

James couldn't help himself. He reached across and brushed his lips against hers. What happend next, no one expected.

A/N: Omgosh, do you guys hate me now? Haha! CLIFFIE! Lol! I love those..lol! So do you think the song went with the chapter? I sure hope so. This chapter was so hard to write. Well I hope you guys liked it. Please RR! I'll update soon I promise! I've already started on chapter five so it should be up soon! I luv you guyz! smooches! xoxoxo


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